Life has been so insanely difficult to even explain in the last bit...
so much that I don't even know where to start
but I try to stay optimistic at the end of it all.
it always comes back to one thing.
I am not the person I was 10 years ago...
the girl that thought that everything was rainbows and castles...
if anything life changed me for the best and I'm still changing to say the least.
I am in love with an extraordinary husband which adores me
and puts up with so much of my craziness day by day.
I am lucky to have 2 beautiful angels that make me laugh
and remind me everyday the good in this world.
I am surrounded by amazing family and friends that
appreciate who I am and lift me up to be the best.
I believe in God and believe that he has sent me here
on earth for a special reason,
To be a wife, a mother and so much more in this life...
But religion now that's one thing that I have struggled
for a very, very long time and I am scared that my kids
will too as they get older and have a better understanding
of what it all means...
I grew up in a very religious home,
with a very religious community.
My teachers, my neighbors, my friends, my family
everyone that I grew up with went to same church
as I did and as thankful as I am for having that
in my early life because it really made me
a very loving, righteous individual towards God...
I always knew in my heart that not everything I was taught
was the truth and always questioned myself,
Would God really want it that way???
The last 5 years have been more of a struggle
but I know in my heart there is more to life
then what I was taught believing...
As I've prayed day and night and look at my children
while they sleep I can only tell myself that's it up to me and my husband
to teach them what is right and wrong.
To teach them of a beautiful God
who created a beautiful world for them and only they can make their lives
on this earth as beautiful as they want it to be.
For me... I have a lot to still learn,
I'm not perfect... but again no one is.
But I know someday everything will be clear to me.
