hello darlings...
One more day and it's the weekend.
So so excited cause I dream of weekends!!!
So I've had the honor of been a Guest Blogger
in 2 AMAZING AND INSPIRATIONAL BLOGS this week.
make sure to check them out and
show some love to this darling ladies.
So yesterday was a very emotional day for me
I cried, cried, cried and cried a little bit more
until I think I was super exhausted and couldn't cry no more.
about 2 weeks ago, my older sister called me
to tell me she had taken a few pregnancy test
but that they came back as negative...
then she said she was really hoping to be pregnant.
Then I said "why would you want that right now"
you have so much going on right now,
plus how are you going to do that while
trying to go back to school.
(something she has really wanted to do for a long time)
I told her how I felt that she needed
to take care of herself mentally and physically
that she needed to take care of the little ones
that she has right now because they each need her...
i told her more and then she told me her point of view.
how she felt that I wasn't been supportive of what she wanted.
how she wants to have a big big family...
before I go on...
you see my sister is the most amazing, smart, giving, calm
and a little bit to much of a positive person,
not saying it's a bad thing: just for the record.
she is the mother of 5 beautiful kids
the oldest 10 and the youngest almost 2 years old.
she is also the oldest sister of 2 crazy sisters
and a younger brother (one of the crazy sisters ME)
she is also the closest to my mom and dad.
she has always had huge dreams and inspirations.
then a week ago she went to the emergency room
with her husband and my dad.
they diagnosed her with pancriatitis
told her she would have to stay in the hospital for a
few days and that she wouldn't be able to eat or drink anything.
later on when some more blood results came back
they told her that she was pregnant.
when I found out what was going on
I knew that the only thing I could do was be a supportive sister.
I had already been honest with her of how I felt.
but at the end I was happy for her that she was going to bring
a new baby to this world and even imagined of how
beautiful she was going to be...
she's been wanting a little girl for a while now
so I, right away knew she was going to be a baby girl.
a few days ago she went to the hospital again
she had been spotting then they told her about how it was normal
to spot, but if she continued spotting and bleeding more
that it meant that she had a miscarriage.
That's exactly what happened she kept spotting and bleeding
more and more.
She knew what that meant...
She wasn't having a baby anymore...
She wrote about it in her blog the night before.
that's how I found out about her miscarriage.
That's when I cried...
I knew how bad she wanted this baby.
I felt guilty in a way...
I felt sad that she didn't call me..
and share with me what was going on...
I felt sad that she didn't call me..
and share with me what was going on...
Since we were little girls we had always talked to each other
about everything, about our dreams, our ambitions, our worries,
our crushes, supporting each other, giving each other advice.
We did everything together...
She wanted a big family and a cute little farm,
I wanted a small family with a huge house.
We were the best-est friends like no other...
Then things changed and I felt jealous for a long time
I felt that everything had changed when she met her husband
that he had taken my best friend away...
I just didn't know that it was a normal thing
that everyone had to grow up and go on with their own life.
As I spoke to her later on at night
I told her I was sorry and that I loved her very much.
She said that she didn't want to see me crying...
that everything happens for a reason...
as we spoke, I felt that I was talking to my best friend
again and that she had never stopped been my best friend.
She reminded me that we need to stay positive...
To smile... To be the happy me that she knows I am...
Instead of me making her feel better, she made feel better
reassuring me that she was going to be okay...
to know that everything was going to be okay...
That's what she has always done for me
and I love her for that.
